welcome to illegal.technology.

the cow is generated hourly via a cron job, using cowsay and fortune.

that's all there is for now.

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/ curtation, n.: The enforced compression \
| of a string in the fixed-length field   |
| environment. The problem of fitting     |
| extremely variable-length strings such  |
| as names, addresses, and item           |
| descriptions into fixed-length records  |
| is no trivial matter. Neglect of the    |
| subtle art of curtation has probably    |
| alienated more people than any other    |
| aspect of data processing. You order    |
| Mozart's "Don Giovanni" from your       |
| record club, and they invoice you       |
| $24.95 for MOZ DONG. The witless        |
| mapping of the sublime onto the         |
| ridiculous! Equally puzzling is the     |
| curtation that produces the same eight  |
| characters, THE BEST, whether you order |
| "The Best of Wagner", "The Best of      |
| Schubert", or "The Best of the Turds".  |
| Similarly, wine lovers buying from      |
| computerized wineries twirl their       |
| glasses, check their delivery notes,    |
| and inform their friends, "A rather     |
| innocent, possibly overtruncated CAB    |
| SAUV 69 TAL." The squeezing of fruit    |
| into 10 columns has yielded such        |
| memorable obscenities as COX OR PIP.    |
| The examples cited are real, and the    |
| curtational methodology which produced  |
| them is still with us. MOZ DONG n.      |
| Curtation of Don Giovanni by Wolfgang   |
| Amadeus Mozart and Lorenzo da Ponte, as |
| performed by the computerized billing   |
| ensemble of the Internat'l Preview      |
| Society, Great Neck (sic), N.Y. -- Stan |
| Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP           |
\ Dictionary"                             /
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